Loving yourself is not necessarily a problem unless it is a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder, which is characterized by an overinflated sense of self-importance, an excessive desire for admiration, a focus on achieving power and success, and deep feelings of jealousy and vulnerability on the inside.
People with narcissism have very little awareness of themselves and of how other few themselves. They also tend to never feel any regret or remorse, which means they have a higher risk of engaging in dangerous behaviors if they think that they might gain some sort of influence or admiration from it, even if there is a chance that their behaviors might harm others. If recognize the signs in yourself or in someone you know, then you can get treatment from a therapist in order to manage narcissist personality disorder.
You talk a lot about yourself.
Talking about yourself is considered a narcissistic tendency. Of course, you are allowed to talk about yourself, but people with narcissistic personality disorder almost always feel the need to lead conversations in order to the direct conversation topics around themselves. They have difficulty asking other people questions and often redirect the conversation when someone else’s thoughts or feelings to come up. They get uncomfortable or frustrated when a conversation topics change away from themselves and they have trouble listening to other people’s problems, but they will usually have no difficulty talking about their own concerns. Usually, unless you are having a conversation with someone who also has narcissistic tendencies, talking about yourself will not cause too many concerns. However, sometimes, it is important to let other people discuss their own problems.
You make a good first impression that never seems to last.
Constantly talking about yourself may not seem as though it is a likeable quality. However, people with narcissistic personality disorder are often incredibly likeable at first. People feel that narcissists are very sociable and they gravitate towards that type of personality. Narcissistic believe that making a powerful first impression is important for gaining power and admiration, so if you have narcissistic qualities, then you may see the value in doing whatever it takes in order to impress.
Your efforts to make a good first impression often work, but the effects rarely last for long enough to form all that many meaningful friendships and connections. Over time, the charm wears away once people start to recognize your other narcissistic qualities. Narcissistic qualities are not always a bad thing that can ruin your social life, but these qualities can make people think that you only care about yourself. Friendship requires that you show some care and respect for other people.
You never feel as though you should take responsibility for your negative actions.
One of the main reasons that people eventually might be put off by your narcissistic tendencies is that people with narcissistic personality disorder often feel as though they can do no wrong. If people are ever upset at something that you do or say, then you might end up feeling as though you are being wrongfully attacked. You may also start blaming someone else for what happened, including the person who is upset. This sort of victim blaming can be considered somewhat manipulative, especially if you make it seem as though you were the one who was victimized, misunderstood, and undervalued.
Additionally, you might start lying in order to shift the blame away from yourself. Sometimes, you might be right in thinking that you are not at fault. However, other times, it is best to just take responsibility for your actions. Even if you are not the only person at fault, it is not always productive to point fingers at other people. However, narcissists often just feel unable to simple apologize or fix any possible problems. Furthermore, even constructive criticism that is not meant to be an attack or confrontation in way can still result in problems for a narcissist. Narcissists tend to be extremely sensitive to criticism and might respond to it in a way that seems way out of proportion.
You spend too much money on luxury items.
Everybody likes to own nice things, but you should not be spending too much money on luxury items that you cannot afford. Purchasing more than you can afford is not necessarily a sign of narcissistic personality disorder. You might have other personality disorders, you may have simply have been unable to contain yourself in the moment, or it might have been a special occasion. However, you should not buy expensive items if the express purpose of your purchase was to show off your power and status to other people. If your expensive luxury items tend to be something flashy or something that you feel the need to brag about, then it can be a sign of trouble.
You take advantage of people.
People with narcissistic personality disorder feel extremely jealous and vulnerable on the inside, which may drive them to take advantage of other people without feeling any remorse. You may manipulate people and exploit their weaknesses in order to make sure that your own weaknesses are never exploited or exposed. You may also cause people to fear you, which is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you are in a position of power. However, fear can cause people to dislike you. Additionally, the lack of awareness that comes with narcissism can cause you to miss the signs that you are causing serious harm by taking advantage of other people. This tendency is part of why narcissism has a bad reputation.
If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, then you can definitely talk to a therapist about becoming more aware of yourself and of how you affect the people around you. With help, narcissistic personality disorder can be manageable, but it does take a certain amount of reflection to know that you need help. If someone you know shows narcissistic tendencies, then it is not your job to diagnose them with a personality disorder, but you should still do whatever you can to avoid be manipulated or wrongfully attacked.