Health

Gay And Single? Not A Big Deal.

gay man holding rainbow equality flag, lgbtq

Being single no matter your orientation is often considered a bad thing. For many reasons that are not valid, society can make you feel as if being coupled is the only way to go. With people pairing and breaking up like the Left and Right Twix, you may feel like you’re not doing what you’re supposed to. Not true. Whatever relationship status you have that’s comfortable for you is the right thing. Know that there are so many advantages to being single, we had to make a list. Had to.

So, here are five reasons why being gay and single is exactly right for you.

#1 Confidence That Would Make Narcissus Blush

It can be a lot more difficult to become confident in yourself if you’re constantly in a relationship. Relationships take a lot of compromises, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but this can intrude on your ability to express yourself. If you want to go to your favorite spot and you need to make sure your significant other wants to go, too, this can hinder your spontaneous expression of yourself.

Being single allows you to find, and enjoy, what you love without compromise. Go to that movie, play, opera. Start that new hobby you’ve been secretly eyeing. When you’re alone, there’s no one to judge, positively or negatively. You can sing as loud as you want, dance as hard as your body will allow, and talk to yourself (to figure things out) as much as you want. Ta da, you’re building confidence!

#2 A Marriage You’ll Enjoy Being Married To

married gay men in suit, same sex marriageNow that the marriage landscape makes sense, your friends may be rushing to get married. They may boast about their wonderful marriages, how much they love their new lives, and how much you should get married, too. Like, right now. Isn’t marriage the logical next step? The “rules for a perfect life” dictate it is, but these rules are too rigid. Being single gives you the time to look for the right man if you’re looking at all. Know that there’s no need for you to walk out of your door and grab the first mailman, garbage collector, or colleague you see. Marriage has no time limit and isn’t impatient. It’s not tapping its foot waiting for you to decide. And if you’re reading this article, neither are you.

Despite what your parents, siblings, and best friends say, you don’t have to settle down for just any guy. For that matter, you don’t have to settle for anyone. While some one-size-fits-all perfect life doesn’t exist, there may be a perfect guy for you. To sweeten the deal, this perfect-guy-for-you will have flaws, because I’m talking about subjective perfect. So, take a breath, and look for him. Be patient and find the guy you truly love and who loves you. Instead of a lifetime of misery and regret, your life could be filled with happiness and love. Please remember, though, that happiness and love don’t need anyone but you attached. Marriage is a choice and the choice is yours.

#3 More Love For Yourself

Being single is a great time to find out how to love yourself. The saying goes that you can’t love someone else unless you love yourself and it’s true. When you attempt to love someone else before loving yourself you may love them more than yourself. If they are unkind, you may be unable to defend yourself because you don’t believe you are worthy of good treatment.

The more time you spend alone, the more you are able to appreciate both your flaws and strengths. This introspection will give you a much clearer picture of who you are, how you react to situations, and how you want to be treated. Despite our social nature, we aren’t supposed to be tied to someone else at all times. It’s not good for our personal development.

#4 Making Maturity A Goal

happy latino gay manA problem often overlooked in our society is maturity. Many people grow in cognitive, physical, and reasoning maturity, but they remain emotionally immature. While being single won’t guarantee you mature, it can help. Being single places all consequences, and successes, squarely on your shoulders, which may lead to the rethinking of your behavioral patterns, beliefs, and attitudes. As you remain single for longer you may find yourself listening to others more closely when you are in their presence, becoming more patient, accepting the trials and tribulations of life, and dealing with change better.

As you spend more time alone you may find an inner peace within yourself. Boosting your confidence, building the skills you really value, and delving into the hilarious inner jokes no one else would truly understand allows you to accept yourself. As you accept yourself, you may realize that differences of opinion are fine and that you don’t need to change yourself or your opinion to please someone else.

#5 Solo Sex

Being single is an amazing time to get to know your body before you share it with someone else. Your partner can’t read your mind, so you’ll have to update him on what you like. Masturbation can help you find all of the sweet spots that make you excited. Not only that, but if you’re into it, you can find the porn that gets you going. Porn may help you learn about the different sexual acts or types of sexual partners that arouse you, but it’s important to remember that non-solo sex won’t be like porn. Those people in the videos and magazines are trained to make sex look simple. If you decide to share yourself with someone else, or try new masturbatory positions, the sex will be a lot messier and hotter.

A final note on solo sex: Resist the urge to squeeze, or pump, your penis too hard, as this can lower your penis’s sensitivity to stimulation. As sensitivity decreases, you’ll need to masturbate harder, which could lead to injury.

Finally, when someone remarks on your single status, just smile and nod. They may not understand, but, like being single, that’s all right. Being single is, oftentimes, the best times of your life. When you are alone you can find your true passions, hobbies, relationship deal breakers, and love for yourself.

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