Sometimes in relationships, you will find that there are some blockers that stop sexual contact for a while. Sometimes you just drop out of the rhythm and sometimes you feel as though they do not initiate sex as much as they used to. While you may feel frustrated, it is important to recognize that your partner may be feeling the same way. Communication is key to getting over a dry spell in a relationship, and working at bringing back the spark is not easy. However, there are a few things that you can try.
Talk about it
Although this may seem terrifying, bringing it up makes it real. If you both ignore it, it may go on for a very long time and may be difficult to get back. We never know what is really going on in another person’s head and can only find out by asking. Maybe your partner is thinking of other things, busy at work, or feeling undervalued. You can only find those things out by asking. That way they can tell you what you need to do to improve the situation.
Increase physical contact
Sex starts before your clothes are off. By increasing physical contact, with just a hug or a touch of the hand can send signals that you are interested in pursuing it further. By showing affection, this will send a rush of endorphins in your partner, which will get the juices flowing, ready for sex. Try kissing them more often or holding their hand in public. When you are at home, make sure you close distance between you physically. If you are on the sofa watching TV, cuddle or at least sit closely. Distance shows a lack of affection so closing those gaps will show the opposite.
Eat libido boosting foods
Certain foods help to boost libido. We all know about oysters, but other things will open your partner up. Red wine, chocolate, and ginger all help to boost libido by increasing endorphins while opening up the blood cells for better circulation.
Deal with self-image
Sometimes we don’t recognize that we are the problem. For men especially, when they are run down, overly stressed, or having a self-image crisis, we tend to dress poorly or put on weight. These things can be off-putting to a partner. Equally, if you don’t feel sexy, a partner can sense this and will not initiate sexy actions. Try to boost your self-confidence by dressing better and feeling good about yourself.
Help them feel good
Maybe your partner is having a moment where they feel unsexy. Helping them to feel sexier will initiate sex. Women, especially, note that the times they feel the sexiest are while they have sex. Try to give her compliments while also initiate sex. These two things will help to boost their self-confidence and show them that you find them attractive.
Try new things
When you do have sex, try new things to spice up the experience. Sometimes sex comes less frequently when we find it to be boring or routine. By making it exciting, it becomes something to look forward to again. Why not try introducing sex toys or purchase her some nice lingerie.
In order to change your sexual pattern, you need to be creative and proactive. Talking to your partner while increasing affection will help to move toward a more tender relationship. This tenderness is what creates the environment for much more intimacy.